Flight into Fantasy

A huge chunk of my flist will find this amusing.

The Malfoy family Christmas newsletter by Dolorous Ett.

I’ll give Mercedes Lackey something. She is definitely a good writer for teenagers. That’s when I discovered her, and subsequent rereads of her books now that I’m no longer fifteen have kind of left me disappointed.

That being said, I actually like the stories about Tallia, of which this is the second. Maybe it’s because she’s the sort of girl a lot of Lackey’s young female readers can relate to. I certainly saw a lot of myself in her. For that reason, I can reread this book and enjoy it quite a bit more than some of her others.

Grade: B+.

There’s really not much to this book. It’s a pretty standard premise for an erotic fantasy. Our heroine’s no-good loser boyfriend bets a night with her in a poker game and loses to our hero, who basically begins shouting, “I have a big penis!” until our heroine capitulates, goes home with him, and enjoys the best sex she’s ever had.

After the last few ebooks I’ve read, I was pleasantly relieved that this particular story was (1) blessedly short and (2) relatively free of things that are likely to strain my suspension of disbelief. Well, unless you count the premise, which I don’t because Thompson actually manages to convince me it could really happen.

Overall, not a bad piece of erotica. It kind of lacked a little in the actual romance department, but this story’s so short that didn’t bother me.

Grade: B+

I want this for a Consumermas gift. I’ve discovered that I have, in fact, acquired a taste for coffee, and you really can’t go wrong with chocolate in any shape and size.

Man, if I ever decide I really should write romance novels for a living, I will never run out of pretentious character names. All I have to do is look at the sender fields in my emails.

My absolute favorite has been Hudson Rivera, which sounds exactly like a romance novel hero’s name. Today I got Trinidad Crump, which sounds like a good name for, I don’t know, someone in the HPverse.

Ah, the things that amuse me on no sleep.

Plot Summary: Taylor has always loved Drew, ever since she was a child. With the help of several self-help books, she’s determined that Drew will marry her. It’s a romance, so I’m sure you can guess what happens.

Thoughts: This book tries really hard to be a romantic comedy. The problem is that, y’know, you have to actually be funny in order to succeed at comedy, and Adair is decidedly not funny. She also appears to not have paid attention to anything she might have ever picked up about good writing, good characterization, etc.

Drew and Taylor are among two of the stupidest romance novel hero/heroine combinations I’ve ever read. As with a lot of romances, their story would have been a lot shorter and imenently less frustrating had they bothered talking to each other instead of leaping to eroneous conclusions. That being said, I’m glad they ended up together, because God knows people with jellybeans rattling around in place of brain matter certainly don’t need to end up with anyone else.

Grade: C- (It only got this high a grade because there was a secondary character I liked who seemed far more interesting than either of our protagonists.)

OK, so I love this book soooo much. I’ve loved it ever since I was a child, and I love it now. In fact, I’ve read just about everything L’Engle has written featuring the Murrys, O’Keefes, and all their kids. L’Engle has a wonderful storytelling gift, and she draws beautifully realized characters.

For those of you out there who might not have ever read this book, it’s the story of Meg Murry, her brother Charles Wallace, and their friend Calvin O’Keefe, who set out on a dangerous quest to rescue Meg’s father. In the process, each must face up to and realize their faults.

What I particularly like about A Wrinkle in Time is that it’s definitely religious, but it doesn’t preach. L’Engle does have strong themes in her work, but there’s no anvil striking readers over the head explaining the themes over and over again.

My Verdict: Definitely an A. So much so that when I’m able to, I’m considering apping Meg at Hogwarts Hocus.

So here’s how I imagine Dominique Adair’s thought process went:

“Hmmm. I like those stories where the heroine pretends she’s really a highborn lady instead of a serving maid and the hero falls for her anyway and they live happily ever after. But I want my own twist on it. Let’s see. Oh, I know. I’ll have the hero pretend to be someone else. That’ll be entertaining and the readers will love it.”

Except, well, the reader in question did not love it.

Kay is a successful art dealer in Atlanta. We know that she is secretly a submissive because Adair tells us this fact. A lot. She even has a tattoo of handcuffs on her thigh.

David Hunter is an artist who decided, after meeting Kay at her gallery for the first time, that he wanted to drag her off to his cave. So he’s surprised to see her at his cousin Remy’s party in the small Louisiana town where they both grew up. Apparently, Remy, whose last name, I kid you not, is DeLaughter, has been flirting with half a dozen women online. He’s therefore not at the party where he’s supposed to meet all these chicks, having decided to randomly elope with someone else entirely.

OK, so Kay shows up at Remy’s party, and David realizes she’s yet another of Remy’s conquests, so he gets her alone, pretends to be Remy, and they do what characters do in erotic romances.

Needless to say, this book did not work for me. At all. I tried suspending my disbelief that two obviously intelligent people (the author does make it clear they’re both bright) would act like such complete and utter morons. It didn’t work. There’s no reason in the world David and Ky couldn’t have gotten together without David lying to her, and Kay should have figured out she was being lied to a lot more quickly than she, in fact, did. D- for this one.

I made some random comment on somebody’s blog about my displeasure with the fact that Jilly/Geordie hadn’t happened yet and how I didnt want them to end up with the random substitute partners that were, well, clearly not each other.

And then I found out just today that there’s going to be another short novel about Jilly. And I’m sad because I’ll probably never get to read it. But the idea still makes me squeeful.

It’s sort of odd… I think a lot of people probably consider Jilly a huge freaking Mary Sue. And she is. But for some reason, as a character she’s always resonated with me. She’s been through some really difficult experiences, and instead of whinging about how horrible her life’s been, she’s a cheerful, bubbly person. Plus, I would totally hang out with her in real life.

I’m not really sure what the point of all that was, except maybe “OMG Jilly squee!” And heh, now I have the strong desire to read The Onion Girl again.

Title: Statuesque
Author: Lani Aams
Genre: romantic erotica