Random mini rants

Dear Well-Respected Ebook Publisher,

Even though Sybil makes fun of me for it, I still enjoy your books. I particularly enjoy getting the chance to pick from your new offerings, because I don’t always want to read the erotic offerings that your parent company produces.

That being said, I really wish there had been some note attached to the book from your house that I just finished, something along the lines of, “Hey dumbass reviewer! You’re not reading a romance here. Please adjust your expectations. KTHX. Sincerely, the management.” Something like that would have saved me from floundering along for the first third of the book and going “Huh? Wha…?”

Thanks very much.

Sincerely,

Shannon

P.S. I love how you go out of your way to tell us not once, but three times on your submissions guidelines that F/F isn’t allowed. It makes me want to write a hot F/F romance just so I can… uh… not submit to you guys.

OK, moving on, since that last bit of snark failed:

Dear apparently popular and presumably male M/M author,

I tried to read one of your books because for some reason I thought that, it being longer than most erotic romances, there would be a plot. Hmmm. Not so much.

I will keep in mind that apparently the need to say fuck every five sentences isn’t just a trait of the less mature among my male peers. It apparently imbues your story with a sense of real masculinity. Or, um, something.

I’m not a prude, but man, that coupled with the fact that the first sex scene happens within, like, the first ten pages and this is not a short book, was seriously too much. I’m glad I have a stronger stomach than this, because that story? Probably would have ensured that I’d never pick up another M/M novel if I hadn’t decided that I’m determined to find one I’ll like.

Thanks so much for your lack of help in this mission.

Sincerely,

Shannon